25 Oct Personal Writing
Over the past few weeks, Year 11 English students have been studying personal writing and had been tasked with writing an essay on something personal to them.
One of our Year 11 students, Leah 11RDM, wrote the following:
When asked, what is something I’ve worked hard at? I can’t seem to pin-point one thing that I find important enough to write about. I know a lot of people will say exams or sports, but the thing I’ve worked the hardest at, is me.
Over the past few years, I seem to have been chained to a roller coaster that I could not get off, of course there were good times, but there were also some of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to face.
I know your probably thinking “her ‘boyfriend’ broke up with her”, but it’s much darker than that, and though it may be itching at your curiosity, I’d rather leave it unsaid and let your imagination come up with something.
Based on the inconsistency of my life, I, at one point, got trapped in this dark place, a place without a single shimmer of light, a place that I could not escape.
I could go about my day as normal, smile and laugh with my friends or family, but there would always be that thought, that at the end of the day, I’m going to close that bedroom door, and it’s going to be exactly like the night before; tossing and turning, lying there staring at the ceiling thinking about how messed up things could really get, listening to the same songs over and over again like clockwork.
The next morning I would wake up and think ‘today is going to be different’, and it’d end up exactly the same. Typical!
I’m the kind of person of that force feed the words “talk about it” to people when I feel they’ve not been themselves but when it came to me, I hid behind those two deadly words “I’m fine,” how hypocritical can I be?
As time went on and my head started stories of its own and creating scenarios that I knew was never going to happen, but terrified me anyway, I began thinking of those three words that I repeated like a broken record. So that’s what I did.
I spoke to my best friend, I told him things that had been circulating through my veins, and as I said it I realised; I have so many amazing things in my life, I have the best family in existence and some of the most incredible people in my friendship circle, so why am I letting things out of my control consume me?
I started talking, and although the thought of trusting someone petrified me, I knew I could trust my best friend, I always had been able to and he was always there when I needed him.
As I go about my day now. I find that my smile is no longer counterfeit and my laugh is the most genuine thing I’ve ever done, and although it took a lot of time and effort, I’m so glad that I got out of that dark place that had entrapped me.
When I look back on my past I think, ‘the rear view mirror is so much smaller than the windscreen, what’s ahead matters more than what’s behind,’ I’m so glad I took that leap and talked because, now, I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up!